Month: May 2020

Coraline

Coraline walked down the old and chipped steps. Meanwhile, the wind was blowing through her short, blue hair as she looked at the grey, dull scene that laid in front of her eyes. She walked to a nearby bush, the only colour in the garden, and pulled out a fairly long stick. Pulling the leaves off it, she ran ahead to a path as a mangey cat followed. As the cat and coralline stopped, the cat nearly slipped off the mini cliff, which he had halted at, sending a rock falling in front of Coraline’s feet. Frightened, she called out to see who it was and as they didn’t answer her, she threw a rock at where the cat was standing. In agony the cat screeched which creeped Coraline out so she sprinted away. As she sprinted on, she stopped at a weird-looking tree stump. Ending up in the mysterious, dark, and lifeless woods, she saw the cat reveal its identity. She shouted in anger as she was angry he scared her. As she was distracted being angry at the black cat, a mystery motorcycle started revving and flew out of nowhere over the mud and nearly landed on Coraline. Fortunately, it missed her and landed on the nearby tree stump. It removed the skull mask from its face revealing a harmless little boy. What will happen next? Will they become friends or enemies?

Beautifully written Kaliya! You have used a range of Y6 writing techniques to make your writing interesting and exciting! I love the hook – I want to know more!

First, the kitchen was beautifully decorated, every tile laid perfectly, every dish had been polished until shiny and the flowerpot on the table was placed exactly in the center. The walls were painted a pastel yellow, the ovens and cupboards were coloured to match. The pretty grey lace curtains were drawn just below the window so you could see the midnight moon, and the glowing stars while Coraline sat down at the small table, and waited to tuck into a delicious meal of chicken, potato, and sweetcorn. At first, Coraline, sat at the table staring at the glowing moon, she felt at home she felt a feeling that she never wanted to end. Although a few things seemed odd, as Coraline walked closer to what seemed to be her mother something caught her, eye a smudge of blood on the floor and a grave in the garden. Coraline tried to ignore them and walked on. Her ‘’Mother’’ turned around only to expose her eyes, her button eyes. Apparently, this was her ‘’other mother’’. Coraline stepped back only to fall and see a tiny speck of blood upon the ceiling as well. What had happened in this house? What was a ‘’other mother’’? Was Coraline safe?

A beautiful setting description Iliana! Great use of adverbials and other Y6 sentence types to extend your ideas! I love the hook at the end!

The “other” garden

As Coraline stepped into the “other” garden, a flush of amazement filled her face. At first, she did not know what to expect. The gate seemed so rusty, you could barely see a thing in that garden, but once she stepped into it, a splash of colour appeared as hundreds of flowers started blooming. They were not flowers she had seen before though, they were so, different.

Then, all of a sudden, her “other” father came out of nowhere and was riding a mantis. “I love your garden!” Coraline shouted as he rode towards her. “Our garden, Coraline!” he replied as he picked a flower and used it as a trumpet. Coraline looked confused, but she got over that quickly.

All of a sudden, Coraline fell back and some yellow flowers started tickling her. “Stop!” she cried with laughter. Then her “other” father came prancing towards her a freed her from that tickly mess.

Then Coraline jumped on the mantis’ back and they were flying over the garden. You could make out Coraline’s face was literally the garden.

Beautiful writing as ever Alice! Lovely used of adverbials to extend your ideas!

The other parents

As Coraline mysteriously got attracted by the avalanche of different colors, she started crawling through the tunnel to the other door which was slightly open. When she arrived at the other end, she felt a bit scared and nervous as she saw the room looking better than in the real world. Then, after she came to the other world, she heard singing in the kitchen. This has never happened ever in her life. Getting closer and closer, Coraline saw her mother in the kitchen cooking but she didn’t know that she was her other mother. When she turned around, Coraline was shocked to see her other mother wearing buttons instead of eyes, so Coraline shouted at her and told her that she is not her real mother. The other mother laughed and told Coraline who she really was she also told her to go to get her other father to dinner she said that he was in his office. Walking into the office, Coraline could see that her father’s office was all magical and neat but there was one thing that made Coraline worry, she knew that her father didn’t know how to play the piano, but her other dad said that the piano played him!

Interesting description Andrei! You have explored using adverbials to extend your ideas! Well done. 

Coraline

Waking up after a racket, Caroline was startled to find a small and grey mouse under her bed, which appeared to be trying to get her attention. She wondered what the mouse wanted after it woke her up. It seemed to want her to follow it, Caroline was nervous. What does the mouse want? Why was it here? She followed the mouse down the creaky stairs and into a gloomy room, only to find a secret, old and wooden door.  The door opens into an unusually coloured passage. She could just make out another door on the other side. She thought for a second. Then went through. Her heart was pounding and she gasped. She was lost for words.

Great writing Baker! Full of suspense and intrigue – I want to know more!

The tunnel (Setting description)

Coraline and her family have just moved house into a cold, old and eerie place. Coralline was determined to have a look around her new house. She decided to look in all the rooms and as she was looking she had not been successful to find anything new and interesting. That was until she came across an empty room. At first she did not think anything of it that wasn’t till she inspects further. After she moved an unusual looking cabinet, she found a secret room.

After some hesitation, she opens the little door. To her surprise, there was a beautifully colourful and interesting tunnel/slide. She decided to go down as she thought what could be the worst And she was so bored with her dark life. The tunnel looks good and you could feel the big dust particles as it was so old and not been touched.  As she slid down she could feel the airbrushing through her hair. She was cautious but had an adventure aside to her and wanted to find out where the slide went. She could see the colors flashing past her eyes. The smell of mold and dampness passing past her. She could hear the woosh of the air. Finally the tunnel came to an end. There was only one thing to think about now. We are from here.

This is the writing I know and love from you Layla! An interesting read – I want to know more!

Coraline-by Dyllon

As Coraline walks outside the house she walks down the stairs up to a big orange plant, while at the plant she grabs a nearby stick. Next, she leaves the garden to a small cliff, then she sees rubble fall down the cliff, she throws the rock back up. suddenly… a cat screams meeeoooww! Coraline runs faster and faster as she runs a boy with a creepy mask and a bike lurks on a mountain watching her she runs up into the forest where she meets the cat. Coraline asks the cat about the hidden well no answer just a nod, then she creepy boy rides down bringing her to the ground. As the boy examines Coraline, Coraline is just sat there silent but frozen suddenly the boy takes off his mask and Coraline asks him about the hidden well he says silently “that well should never be opened, it is cursed” unsurprisingly she doesn’t listen something bad happens…

TO BE CONTINUED.

Well done Dyllon! An interesting and intriguing piece of writing! I want to know more!

Is it good to own something dangerous, when it could help you?

Some weeks ago, we were (and still are) learning about a text. The text was about a king handing his children a very gigantic present, a dragon. We are recently following the question, ‘Is it okay to own something dangerous, if it could help you one day?’ He might have handed a dragon to show how powerful they are going to be when ruling this kingdom.

I have to disagree on him giving the dragon. Having a dragon in your kingdom can destruct they city. Causing too much damage to things or citizens, it will be risky to own one. It might lead to serious injuries, or it might break things such as couches – it can scratch walls or break houses. Sure, it would be cool to own a dragon but might reveal dangerous threats and injury towards people. It can break into houses, it can break houses, and that could put you in jail. Or your giant friend (the dragon) can get lost.

Following from my first point, it still does not feel like a good idea. As it may have a terrifying appearance towards little children. I still disagree with the father. A fearsome and giant creature can not teach children valuable life lessons, but instead looking at them being silly and the dragon thinking that they are doing the correct thing in life. The king thinks he can rely on the dragon to make the children responsible and sensible. As a matter of fact, it can not do that. The king is most likely hindering them.

I think I made some clear points on how a dragon is not safe, but dangerous for the children in the castle/palace. Also, for the father making the worst decision for his kids, as it will cause extreme damage to everything in it’s way. That is my opinion, what is yours?

Well done Claudiu. You have made some valid points when arguing our key question. I can see you have tried to experiment with word choices and sentence types. You have included all of the key paragraphs needed for this text type – good job! 

Is it okay to gift someone something dangerous?

This week we have been reading a story about a king who gave his twins a pet dragon for their birthday, so we still ask this question: ‘Is it okay to give someone something dangerous, if it could help them one day.?’ In these next few paragraphs, I will be explaining why I agree with the statement.

The reason I agree with the statement is that if I had a dragon I would feel powerful and have a feeling that no one could hurt me. This would help to protect villages if one day they were to be attacked or if someone you know is in danger.

Some people may disagree with my point as maybe if something is dangerous to someone else it may also be a danger to me. But I think in this case if the dragon is well trained, then it will be like a soldier that can help in battle and keep me out of danger.

Well done Freddie! You have made some good points to argue the question. I can see you have experimented with word choices and sentence types. To make this a complete Y6 piece of writing, you would need a conclusion paragraph, which I’m sure you drafted!

Is it okay to gift someone something dangerous?

A king has gifted his son a gift that most of us will question. At his son’s birthday, he gifted him with a pet dragon! This may not be suitable for a kingdom with a populated place.

It isn’t a great idea to have a pet dragon in a kingdom because it can destroy the kingdom and kill a lot of innocent civilians, which could cause a downfall of the king. This can cause punishment and death to all the guards and knights that will try to kill the pet dragon, so my point is that dragons can get out of hand.

My other reason for not having a pet dragon is that dragons can destroy ancient artifacts that can be important to the future. This is one of the many reasons that we don’t know what happened many years ago. Dragons are animals that can destroy anything easily.

Like everyone, I can see something dangerous like a dragon isn’t the best idea, so it would be a good idea to give a child a different pet apart from a dragon. This can also cause destruction so I disagree to having a pet dragon.

Well done Oscar. You have an introduction, argument paragraphs, and a conclusion. You have given some evidence to back up your points and you’ve started to experiment with sentence type. Your word choices are powerful and help to engage the reader. Good job!