As Coraline stepped into the “other” garden, a flush of amazement filled her face. At first, she did not know what to expect. The gate seemed so rusty, you could barely see a thing in that garden, but once she stepped into it, a splash of colour appeared as hundreds of flowers started blooming. They were not flowers she had seen before though, they were so, different.

Then, all of a sudden, her “other” father came out of nowhere and was riding a mantis. “I love your garden!” Coraline shouted as he rode towards her. “Our garden, Coraline!” he replied as he picked a flower and used it as a trumpet. Coraline looked confused, but she got over that quickly.

All of a sudden, Coraline fell back and some yellow flowers started tickling her. “Stop!” she cried with laughter. Then her “other” father came prancing towards her a freed her from that tickly mess.

Then Coraline jumped on the mantis’ back and they were flying over the garden. You could make out Coraline’s face was literally the garden.

Beautiful writing as ever Alice! Lovely used of adverbials to extend your ideas!