slaves .  we have been tossed around sins the African american outbreak as the rich white people say. the dirty racist idiots they treat  us like we are rodents it all started in the year 2009 the Russians just gained air superiority over the united states of america then the front line attack  luckily  they only got three states then america called for a peace treaty . the rules stated that with all farmers in the three states to get back on track they were freely aloud to capture eny African american within those three states .the second rule said that eny american law was now abolished and Russians laws would be used instead .

 

siting in the back of a carig pulled by horses chained up my hands held above my head with a chain and cuffs . hi my name is three my life is a hit and miss i was born in the mist of the grait  Russian war i dint have a mother or a father just a master so far have had 13 of them all white i have bean escaping them sins i was 16 all buy my self they would never notice because they had so meany of them  but this one was different he was fully quipped  he had a lever action rifle by his sighed when you want to escape then you have to notice every diteal the jurny we were making was tacking a huge amount of time finally after what felt like a life time we stopped it was now dark and the look of trees looming over you did not help . a small abandoned building made of rioting would was stearing at me .

there was a horde of spiders and dust then a man lifted up a rug and there it was a trap dor that is what took them 10 hours of traveling a trap dore .he opened it then he led me in and for the ferst time he spock to me and said “the  flight of stares walk down them”.

 

wen i reached the end of the stairs the man in black  opened  the dor i walked in to the blood rided room . there wer three dors that said  toucher room the second dor said interrogation and last room but not least said offis of BLANK i was pushed in to the interrogation room and oh my god. if the war taught me one thing is that stay calm and dont stres. on the flor lay a dead man no open wouned  mus of bean fed some thing harmful or maybe not fed at all he was mall nourished i toled  my self to calm doun and to clear my head BANG the dor shut behiend me a man walked in then loked the dor he said ” we know what you done you have escaped 13 farming compounds you will be faceing the juj of the grat 3 staits of rusha or be sent of to a unescapable compound your dicetion  i chose the compound .

Conall, you created a very interesting idea about your slave character and I especially loved the way this character narrated the story to the reader.  This shows me you are a very creative writer.  Please punctuate your writing, check in with me on spellings but to make the story even better, think about how your character cna make one final escape at the end to make it a “freedom” story.  I feel disappointed with the ending as everything leads up to this point but doesn’t happen.