Maddie wasn’t like other girls. She loved blood. I know this doesn’t sound that weird but she would always having nightmares, always screaming in the night, shouting help! There was a swing in our garden, Maddie would always be outside on the swing or cutting heads off Barbie dolls.
Maddie would always tell me her nightmares. One of her nightmares were real… She would always have dreams about her dad dying on Friday 13th but coming back to life again. It was true he did.. but he will never back alive. I ever wonder if all of her nightmares are real? Lately she is having nightmares where she goes to the bathroom by herself, she comes out with someone and there is blood all over her hands. She was never nervous or scared by the nightmares that she was experiencing, it was like she wanted them to happen.
Today was her first day at school. I felt like this would be a great opportunity for her since she had never been to school before. When she got home she said “Mum I had fun today, I got blood from lots of kids at school.” I acted like I didn’t know, since I’m a witch I can watch people whenever and wherever. I watch her throughout the whole days.
It was the next day and she went to school all by herself. I didn’t think that it was great idea but something inside was telling me to let her do whatever she wanted. She went to the bathroom all by herself as usual but when she went in I knew that this was the day that her nightmare was going to happen. For some reason I just watched it happen without doing anything. It was like someone was controlling me. Maddie looked up and said I know your watching me mum. I have wanted to do this for ages but you would never leave me alone. I couldn’t even move to try and stop her.
I finally realised her nightmares were things that she wanted to happen. Why would she want her dad to die though? What did he ever do to her, he would always help her with everything. It looked like she was trying to summon something. Was it her dad!? I realised all that blood Maddie took from kids in her school was because she wanted to try and get her dad back. I guess her nightmares were things that she wanted to happen. But why would she have a dream that her dad dies on Friday 13th?
She came home with her dad and she apologized for everything that she had done. All she wanted was to get her dad back. Dad seemed very different, it was like he didn’t even realise me. What had she done to him and why?I asked her why did she want her dad die on Friday 13th and then just bring him back to life? She said…
I love the “hook” into your story and the idea of a girl who loved blood is dark, ominous and very exciting. To make the story even more exciting, introduce the idea of how dad died or how he came back to life and develop the storyline problem about this other than the many questions (one example “why would she have a dream that her dad dies on Friday 13th?) you ask but don’t have answers to in the story.