My adventure started in the middle of the night, when I saw a little old cottage in the corner of my eyes, I knew it wasn’t a good idea to go inside but I felt the need to. At that moment I thought I had made a mistake, Even though I knew I would risk my life I didn’t let that stop me. I faced the fear I had and took a step closer to the cottage, I was surprised when I realised the door was open, I took a couple more steps. Shortly after I took more and more steps until I reached the door. I went inside I couldn’t  even describe the interior it looked like a haunted house with creaky  floors and spiders inside.

As I walked up the terrifying stairs I saw the scariest thing I had ever seen I thought I was just dreaming but I wasn’t I saw some weird person he looked like a zombie little did I know it was a zombie. I reached out to grab my mobile the time was 3am that made me even more curious I didn’t know what to do, I tried to take a step back but the floor deck creaked with a loud noise, he returned to the stairs and saw me. Me and him made a short time of eye contact he looked like he was about to grab me. His hands were green and he had super long nails I was terrified I didn’t want to run away I thought he would probably chase after me!

A few minutes later he disappeared within the thin air I took a few steps up the stairs to see if he had gone, but he really did disappear I started walking around the upstairs I found myself in a room. There was a girl inside of it I was shocked and didn’t know if she was dead or sleeping I presumed she was sleeping because she kept saying “come back” I didn’t know what she meant I knew this place was haunted. I quickly left the room filled with terror, then I went inside a different room to explore. This time there was a lady sitting on her bed her eyes were plain white I shook her to see if she was okay she replied with a very deep voice saying “yes why are you in my house” I had no idea what to reply with I said “I’m your daughters friend” I knew she was suspicious she then continued saying “my daughter doesn’t have any friends” I didn’t know what to say for real that time.

Run was the only thought in my mind so I did I ran away and out of the house as I ran down the stairs I saw the zombie I tried to be very quite so he wouldn’t see me but he still did I felt paralysed I stood in place and didn’t say anything I felt nothing, nothing…

A very dark, scary story with an unexpected ending. I love it!  You have also tried to use different sentence starters and used very effective descriptions and a good “voice” to tell the story.  Read through and add sentence punctuation to each sentence you have written.