Draft Big Write – Persuasive Paragraph

Thursday 9th January 2020

LC:To explore and apply persuasive techniques in writing.

Sweating,alone in the desert,being tortured everyday-Would you want your kids to experience this. Well if you don’t you better not send your kids to camp green lake! Camp green lake is awful in every way. What would rather do be in a cell with a cosy bed and working toilet or in a sweat-Box with at least 5 other people. At least you will get some privacy! It’s the same story for the showers if you go to camp green lake they are outside whereas if you go to prison the showers are inside And are so much better. Now if you have read others writing then you may see they have put that in camp green lake there is air conditioning. Great int it. Only one problem. The prisoners are not allowed in the rooms with AIR CON! Plus when at the camp you have to dig holes everyday non-stop until you complete one! Another issue is the fact if you don’t do it you will be killed by the warden. However, if you do do it you may well be bitten by a yellow spotted lizard which would give you a slow and painful death. So as you can see this is a load of absolute garbage. This shows that jail is a much better place. Beds are much more comfortable in the jail everything that you could possibly think of is better in the prison. Another problem is the fact you can not visit you re child. Well you can but the nearest town is a good 9 hours away from the camp. In comparison, most jails you will find are in or around cities and towns so it will be easy for you to visit you’re child.

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