As the sun appeared the moon lifted up into the night sky. Louise knew another day of war and horror was ahead. She quickly ran into the shelter in her back garden with such fright she was trembling.
All of a sudden the door to the shelter creaked open, it was mum. “Are you okay sweet heart?” Louise was so frightened no words could come out, just tears that trickled down her face. The two kept in there for ages.
BANG,CRASH-a huge bomb hit the floor! As the smoke cleared from the misty air, everyone could see the houses obliterate.
By KG
This is great! Have you checked your use of commas? Make sure you don’t forget to use them between clauses as well as in lists