Number 666 – LC: T12 To use character, dialogue and action to advance events in narrative writing

In an isolated mansion,mom is drinking again as usual whilst the girl listens to the historical news( unknown creatures are found on Earth) . Alone and depressed, mom consumes alcohol as usual to wipe away the unforgiving memories of dad’s death. The girl announces the message to mom , but mom is unbothered and convinces the girl that it’s fake.Dad’s death during the business trip has affected the relationship between mom and the girl notably however the girl is yet independent without the care of typical parents.

At night, the girl goes to her room however she sees something floating in the air… A pair of dahlia red piercing dots floats in mid-air in the corridor connected to the girl’s bedchamber . Every single night, she always sees those dots but she never had the courage to inform her mother. After a few days, she can hear footsteps and voices demanding her to go in the forbidden attic, where her father orders her to never go there. What is in there?With all the eagerness to discover the truth behind the strange voice, she decides to follow the voice into the attic…

She finds an aged metallic key, which is submerged in dust and cobwebs , she blemished off the dirt until her fingers revealed a number-666 . Since then, things have changed a lot … The sound gets closer and closer every night until one night, the dots are seen in her bedroom…

This time it doesn’t just stay there, it moves… It seems to be searching for something and it reveals to be a shadowy figure with soulless ruby eyes.The girl tries escape out of bed as she is horrified but something won’t let her… As she looks down at her shaking legs, a pair of obsidian black and bloody hands like claws is clawing onto her. She screams in horror but nobody is there to help her…Helplessly, she holds onto the key and escapes for help. Trembling in fear, the unknown figure stabs it’s claws into her shoulder leaving an open wound on her. The girl quivers down the stairs whilst dripping blood onto the marble floor.

She notices that the creature’s hearing ability is strong and so it heard mom’s snoring and headed toward her room. She screams to attract the creature however it has poorly eye sight so it hit itself with a shovel. After it was knocked out ,  the girl quickly dialed 999 on the phone and reported the incident. Luckily ,mom woke up from her screaming and went down stairs to seeing a bloody scene.They hide in the garage to discuss the situation , they had figured out  that dad’s death was related to the creature because dad was the one who had the key and his laboratory is numbered 666. Then the police came and handled the scene and explained that the key was able to open a laboratory with the cells of its own kind.

Life then had returned normal once again…But the key had still remained, what would happen next?

This is a very dark story, Qian Qian but you have created a believable narration (storyteller) throughout and the ending is satisfiying but with the extra cliff- hanger question.  Be careful, as we talked about, not to use words from the thesaurus unless you are completely confident in their meaning.  Be true to your writing and your own vocabulary choices.