As Coraline walked through the house, the catching smell of food came into her nose. It made her want to go into the kitchen, but suddenly, her “mother” turned and told her, “Sit down, supper’s almost ready.” Coraline stuttered, as if she was speechless, those black buttoned eyes caught her eyes. She was confused, her mother never had buttoned eyes. She got scared and said, “You’re not my mother.” The “mother” assumed she was and told her to sit down instantly so then she could have her supper.
After supper, Coraline got in her pajamas and came to see her “Dad” he was in the piano room, talking to himself, he turned around and saw Coraline. Again, she stuttered, just looking at his eyes, she knew that this wasn’t her family. Just then, on top of the piano, some hands came out and started to play. The “Dad” sang a song, as the hands danced around her. Then the hands turned into gloves and his hands were put into it. It made him play the piano, as he sang a song. Again, she was really confused, she had no idea what was happening in the world she was living in.
What was happening? What caused her to do this? Will she be able to fix it?
A super piece of writing, Karen, very well- described and you have used some adverbials to lead the reader through the scene. Yo have told me on various occasions how Coraline is feeling- ” unsettled”, “confused” etc. To uplevel this, you could also show this in the way she behaves- eg “shudders in disgust” or “her face drops in alarm” etc. Show her feelings (through her behavior) rsther than telling as this draws the reader to sympathise with her even more.