Is it okay to gift someone something dangerous, even though it can help them one day? By Elle Jepson

Recently, we saw an image that was based on a story about a king who had gifted his children a dragon on their fifth birthday. Despite the King knowing that the dangers of the dragon could harm the children, he hoped if he gave the children the dragon then they would train it and one day the dragon would be able to protect them. Do you think this was okay? Or do you think this is to much of a risk to take?

This has lead us to disscus the question, “is it okay to gift someone something dangerous, if it could help them one day?”

I looked into depth on weapons and I chose to research about a specific weapon which was a gun. I researched different kinds of stories that involved guns.  One of the stories I read was that a man had been given a gun and one day his son and his nephew found the gun and started playing with it.  They didn’t know that it was loaded and the little boy accidentally shot his cousin in the arm.  Luckily the boy lived but this just shows how dangerous guns can be and I am certain that this proves my point of why I think you should not gift someone something dangerous even though it could help them in the future, so i strongly disagree. 

Following on from this point I decided to do some extensive research and I found some compelling evidence based on facts and figures.  CBS reported that on average 114,328 people are killed in America each year and in 2019 there was 417 mass shootings, the highest number since 2014. I think this just goes to show how dangerous guns can be. I feel very strongly that to gift somebody something that has the ability to take a life is irresponsible. 

In America there is a huge divide between people that think it should be ok to own a gun to protect yourself and people that think guns should be banned altogether.  I believe that I have given some good reasons based on my research as to why it is not ok to gift someone something dangerous.  Even though guns can be used to protect yourself, I feel the figures show that guns are extremely dangerous and too many people have died from being shot.  After reading everything I’ve researched and seen how many people have lost their lives each year because of guns, do you think guns should be banned?  Would you ever own a gun?

Some very detailed, thought- out points, Elle and you have very clear views on dragons as well as the dangers of guns too. 

Dragons Den – Hoop Sports Entertainment.

Introduction

Scared,bored, feeling isolated?  Well my name is Ellenor Jepson and I have a way to Solve all your problems with my product called The Hoop Sport Entertainment.  In a time where we are separated from our our friends and family because we are all sticking to the stay at home rule, it can be hard to stay in contact.  It’s also so important to try and stay as active as possible too.  My product is designed for you to interact with the people you love and miss during this lonely time and encourage daily exercise.

Explanation

My product works by connecting it to your WiFi at home  and registering it on your device.  You register using your phone, iPad or laptop.  Then you send a link for your friends and family to register to your Hoop Sport Entertainment. You can play one on one or in a group.  It charges up with through a usb and you can still play while it’s charging.  When you throw the ball into the hoop, the hoop has a camera that records your score and sends an alert to the people on your friends list.  You get 2 points every time you get the ball through the hoop and it then sends your final score to whoever your playing with and you can try and beat each other. This is a good way to entertain yourself and keep yourself fit and active.  It’s also designed for indoor and outdoor use.  You can also adjust the height of the hoop so this product is available for all ages.

You may ask were you can you get my product from? You can get my product from my website called sportsathome.co.uk my product is only £15.99 delivery is free.  When you order the Hoop Sport Entertainment, you will be given a 10% off code to give to a friend or family member so they can get this product at a reduced price.  They will also be given a 10% off code to pass on too.  I think this product is different from anything else on the market as it helps to stay in touch with people and you can stay healthy and active at the same time.

Very well written, Elle. You have created a very useful electronic device and it would be an excellent resource in lockdown.  you have used a good range of persuasive language in this writing- especially rhetorical questions and you have thought hard about answring the Dragon’s questions.Well done!

The Whisper

It was a cold night,

Mace, the keeper of the keys, was getting ready for bed when he heard a mumbling whisper, he shook his head with confusion and hopped into bed. Mace woke up at 5:00 in the morning and heard the whisper, he then slowly went and woke up his sister up he said to her “ Jace, Jace wake up” he said,Jace replied “ what’s the matter” Mace said, the whisper.

 

Jace grabbed Mace and said “run” Jace and Mace ran to their brothers room and Jace said “Mace said he heard a whisper” their brother Michael said, “Ok, ( he looked at Mace and nervously said) what happened mace” Mace said “well I heard it when I was getting ready for bed then, I heard it just a minute ago” then they all started hearing the stuttering whisper they all frighteningly looked at each other Michael said “stay here” Michael courageously went downstairs and followed the whisper Michael uncovered a dusty,old,silver Key and took it back to Jace and Mace. Mace immediately ran to Michael who was looking strangely at the key like he had seen it before. Jace uneasily said to Mace “have you seen this key before?” Mace said “yeah in my dream” Michael held the key in the air and then he jumped Jace immediately said “what’s up” Michael said “I felt something in my neck” Mace bravely snatched the key and held it up Mace looked shocked, but put the key in his head. Suddenly he jumped out of his body, now everyone looked shocked Mace pointed to this rainbow door, Michael and Jace turned around and there was, a colourful rainbow door, they froze!!

 

Jace turned to Michael and Mace, she stuttered “sh sh sh should we g go in th th there?” Mace said “yes” Michael said “lets go then” Mace,Michael and Jace all went through the door. Through the door was jack boxes,games,cars and loads of colour full things Mace exited said “it’s inside my head I think” Jace said “ok let’s just get out of here” Mace,Michael and Jace all came out of the door Mace carefully took the key out of his head and jumped back into his body. Maces mum walked in and confusedly said “what are you all doing up at this time” and sent them all back to bed. It was now 7:00 in the morning, Jace,Mace and Michael were all still awake and all of a sudden they heard another whisper so they all ran to the whisper next to the piano, Michael opened the piano and held the key up and stuck it in his chin, suddenly a door opened, Mace and his dog Bailey when through the door and turned into ghosts, out of nowhere Maces mum shut the door and Mace was stuck in afterlife with his dog Bailey then Mace then was banging on the door until he noticed something… “hello is anybody there,hello ?

 

I like the way you have structured your ideas in the story, Ellie and you’ve described your characters and their action well using “show- not tell” through their behaviour. THis adds to the scary mysterious aspect to the story.

Read through, adding sentence punctuation as well as adding correct speech punctuation to open and close speeh correctly with inverted commas.