13simass

the robbery

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One day in the city of new York a man was walking down the street to his apartment an when he got to his apartment he found a cracked window and a note but wasn’t sure what was going on. Soon he repaired the window that some body broke but he called the police so they could find out who did this. As it was getting dark  he went to his room and started reading the news paper but just then he heard a big bang on the door and foot steps going into the living room and he got out his chair and immediately went to check what on earth was going on .  It was a criminal robbing him but the criminal ran away instantly with a couple of his things so he called the police for another robbery that happened to him but just then he realized that the same person that robbed him twice left that note saying I’ll be back which was a bit strange because considering I didn’t do anything or maybe it was some kind of action that I did that she didn’t like but I am not sure what I did. As I went for a walk one day down the street and the sun was shining but lately a lot of bad things were going on such as robbery’s. Many people thought that robbery’s were quit rare here but I guess not because many have been happening all around the city which should stop happening. A car passed me and straight away when it did it crashed but strangely enough there was no one in the car but I really thought that I heard someone but I guess not. I called the pick up truck to take this crashed car to the junk yard and carried on walking down the street into the local park where many people came on such a fine day. I came back home and sat down and  suddenly a big bang  happened in my garage and found a human laying there and he wasn’t alive. the man checked who the man really was and he was a police officer who got shot by a bullet but the murderer didn’t leave any clues or belongings. The man called the ambulance  and left the garage . 3 months later. The person that robbed me was gone whilst  the man opened up a very famous bank and a lot of people started investing a lot of money into his bank but he was afraid that the robber would rob us as we do have a lot of money. 3 weeks later. The crook arrived that night at the bank with people to help him take all the money into the vans. So The people that came to help him distracted everyone that was protecting the vault and the criminal exploded open the vault and everyone left and they loaded all the money and drove. the next day the man got a heart attack and saddley died.

Some good ideas in the story but please make it easier for the reader to read by adding sentence punctuation and divide into paragraphs to make the whole story more organised.  Add descriptions and details about the settings too. 

 

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