LC T12 To use characters dialogue and action to advance events in narrative writing .

Once upon a time there was a little boy called Freddie and he lived with his mum Charmaine and his dad Garry and they also lived with his 2 cousin Chloe and Lexie and he also lived with his aunty Kerry .The next day my nan came over and she said she booked us all a hol and we all said thank you nanny and she said that’s  ok “but you need to start packing because your train is half 10 in the morning so go pack now you have 12 hours till your train “.  LEXIE ; I asked nanny” how long are we going on holiday for “she said 2 weeks so you need to pack a lot of cloths or you can pack a little bit of cloths then get some new cloths while you are down there . Kerry ;  Why did you book us a holiday  Nanny ; because I thought you needed a time away because you have been through>enough. Kerry : Well yes we have been through enough and have you booked us all a hotel for us to stay in .
Nanny : yes I have and there is food and drinks included and I have all ready payed for all your food and drinks so when you go to the counter you just need to give them your ticket and then they will see they are already payed and they have been payed for the whole 2 weeks . Everyone : Thank you we all needed this . Lexie : Are you not coming . Nanny : Of cause I am I got 6 tickets and there is 6 of us . Lexie and gaz : Shall we get Freddie’s hair cut because its getting long again . Charmaine : Yes lets get his hair cut but not on the 1st day we get there lets just get used to being there and we can go to the beach and look in the shops and then look at  are caravan we and staying in . Gaz : ok lets do that then but lets look at are caravan 1st .
>About 8 months ago me and the kids went to  a bowling club thing and there is abit for the adults and the kids bowling bit is right next to the adults bit so then  you can keep an eye on your kids . Charmaine : yeah that’s sound good yeah but now shall we go to bed because we need to get up early to get the kids dressed and us dressed then go to the train stasion by 10:20 then we will make the other 2 trains . NIGHT EVERYONE SEE YOU ALL IN THE morning . The next morning they were at the train station waiting for the 1st train then it arrived they had to stay on the train for 30 minuets WE got of the train but then we had to wait 20minuEts until the next train 20 minuets later which felt like hours the train arrived and this was are last train to get until we were at are holiday . Then we were finerly at the holiday but we had to get a bus to the caravan . tHEN WHEN WE GOT TO THE caravan we all went to bed because we had a long day

The end .

A good attempt at the story but please read through and add some sentence punctuation. This will make it much easier for the reader to understand your meanings in the story more.

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