the magical world

The visit

Chelsea entered the magical world. When she entered the wind blew in her face and she heard the leave swishing. The trees danced while the wind screamed through the branches. The lone girl stood there in shock. Chelsea was so amazed that she didn’t want to leave. Her sister was following her.

Sneak attack

As her sister Naylah followed her she creeped on her and scared her sand she was scared to death so she was so mad and she shot at her.

The quake

When they were running back to their hose they were running with fear they were getting even more frightened.  They kept running until they get home. They were running as fast as they could because they didn’t want to get hurt.

The come back

They finally got out of the new world they discovered but when they got home something was of the ground started shacking. It was shacking like an earth quake. They quickly ran home because they didn’t want to get hurt.

 

A good outline story Naylah. You have followed the story structure given to you. I think this story could do with a little more detail and different sentence types to really draw the reader in. 

The fusion

One night Mea was dreaming of a tunnel and the next morning Mea awoke from her slumber and she was in tunnel she dreamt about. As she walked, she could felt a force pushing her back and she could not take another step. Then she saw a light, it must be the end of the tunnel. She thought that she could grab the trees beside her and then almost instantly the force stopped pushing her as if it was a test and if it was, she had passed. Then she walked towards the light. After one hour, she had only made it halfway.

Mea was walking the last meter to the end of the tunnel and then she tripped over a living, breathing, red baby dragon that spoke English. Do you want to have an adventure with me?” said Mea.

“Yes I would like that very much.” Said the dragon.

“You need to have an adventure or you will be a loser and who wants to be a loser. Well not me anyway.” Joked Mea.

 

“So can we start our adventure now?” Said Mea.

“Oh yes I forgot to tell you my name and it is Max.” Said the dragon. Walking towards a magical tree that gave Mea the power to materialize objects out of thin air, she made a steel sword that had a button on the side of the handle that when you press it the hole blade lit on fire. Then Max realised that he could shoot fire out of his mouth and it can get so powerful that it can obliterate a mammoth spider which is the strongest monster and anyone or anything like a three headed bull, mole people, red eyes black dragon and a T-Rex which is armoured with a titanium exoskeleton and equipped with laser cannons on the side of it’s mouth.

 

“Can we make an underground home?” Said Mea.

“I don’t see why not.” Said Max.

Three hours later they have finally made the underground home. “How about you go take a walk and when you come back I will have made it some adjustments and maybe there will be a some thing  waiting for you when you come back.” Said Mea.

“Sounds like fun.” Said Max.

I wonder what Mea is going make? Thought Max. Max’s surprise was ember armour that’s made from real ember dragon scales. One hour later Max returned from his walk and he saw the ember armour on the stand and he was so happy that he was bouncing off the walls and actually breathed fire.

“Did you know that ember armour gives my type of dragon more power?” Said Max.

“And your type of dragon is?” Said Mea.

“My type of dragon? I’m an ember dragon of course.” Said Max

 

Then when they were under a bridge training, they ran as fast as they could into each other to activate a fusion power, and a fusion of Mea and Max was created. They had a sword made of pure fire and an absorbing monster tried to steal the fusion power for himself but Mex cut the monster in half and they separate and became themselves again.

Mex is the fused name of. Mea and Max

 

Well done Mason, what an exciting story. You have followed the story structure but have come up with your own characters and the exact plot. You have begun to add some detail.