the magical world

The visit

Chelsea entered the magical world. When she entered the wind blew in her face and she heard the leave swishing. The trees danced while the wind screamed through the branches. The lone girl stood there in shock. Chelsea was so amazed that she didn’t want to leave. Her sister was following her.

Sneak attack

As her sister Naylah followed her she creeped on her and scared her sand she was scared to death so she was so mad and she shot at her.

The quake

When they were running back to their hose they were running with fear they were getting even more frightened.  They kept running until they get home. They were running as fast as they could because they didn’t want to get hurt.

The come back

They finally got out of the new world they discovered but when they got home something was of the ground started shacking. It was shacking like an earth quake. They quickly ran home because they didn’t want to get hurt.

 

A good outline story Naylah. You have followed the story structure given to you. I think this story could do with a little more detail and different sentence types to really draw the reader in. 

Roman army

JOIN TODAY

Are you bored doing the same thing every day? Do you want some excitemnt in you life? Then join the Roman army we need you!

TRAVEL THE WORLD

Do you want an extraodinary trip around the world? As you are a Roman soldier you will be able to travel the butifull world. Open your eyes and see your amazing extraodinary world that you live in.Experience new people\places and customs and you can even try new langes and new food.

WAGES

Do you want to earn an amzing amount of money? When you join the greatest Roman army you will earn a big amount of wages. If you dont dont join this army you wont have the best wage. When you fight for the forious Romans you will get paid more than you think. If you fight whith the Romans you will get the greatest and the best wages ever.Want to earn wages then come fight whith the Romans.

FIT AND STRONG

when you join the Roman army you will become fit an strong.If you are under 17 you must get fit and strong when you train with the Romans.You will be mighty brave fit and strong when you get trained.When you get trained with the Romans you will be big strong. If you be trained by the best Romans well your lucky becuase you will become the best soldier in the world.

What are you wating for?The fist five hundred people  to get here you will get paid more than the others.

by Naylah