A mysterious glow came out of the tunnel.

Walking in Nelly gazed at all he greenery ahead of her wondering what is on the other side, with a feeling she has dreamt of this before but can’t remember how it ends.

“Did this dream have a reason?” Nelly asked herself. Nelly comes from a small village far away from to see if the dream has a meaning. She knows her father will already be in tears. Finally, Nelly decided to go through the tunnel just a quick look on the other side as soon as she got in she was surrounded by fresh green leaves when in the middle she decides to turn back it was already dark as her fierce eyes she was going to sleep there until morning light. Just as Nelly got up,  she found the exit was gone there was only one thing left to do go into the portal or stay there. After a while,  Nelly decided to go through the tunnel because if there was a job to do the exit would come back.

Sweet smells filled up both of Nelly’s nostrils as she entered the portal. But she found no one was eating sweets; there was a whole candy land! But a strange one: it was all black and white the spooky kind. Nelly had to find help and fast she started worrying then said to herself imagine you being Nelly lost in a giant candy land not knowing what to do, imagine being Nelly sitting down all alone, imagine being Nelly not finding help when you need so much. Not long after  Nelly stood up and ran as fast as she could, over the marshmallow bridge , round the chocolate fountain and so on. The sun started smiling as Nelly found a creature however it was stuck. Nelly thought that was why she was Called there to save the creature, so she found a long and strong piece of lemon grass slid it under the rock and tied the other end on a log on the cliff then pulled the dragon came out and it actually spoke. Nelly got so scared that she even fainted.

Startled, Nelly woke up to find she was in a cave. Hidden in the shadows behind her poked out a tip of something. A wing? But it was shove red in scales the creature came out and Nelly found … A DRAGON!

“Don’t worry I won’t try to scare you we have all been waiting for you.”

“Me.”Nelly said confused .

“Yes you we need you to solve our problem.”said the dragon.

“Ok but first what is your name?”Nelly asked

“My name is Sophia.”the dragon replied proudly

“Then Sophia will you take me to solve his problem of yours.” Nelly said

“Of corse Sophia said hop on my back.”

Nelly hoped on and if they flew.

Sophia flew swiftly and slowly until Nelly discovered a gargantuan cave. Sophia flew down there as Nelly thought about what was going to be in there. Both of them walked in cautiously to find a giant chair, it looked so fluffy. Down came a giant sized dragon and landed upright in the chair. Sophia bowed down and so did Nelly .

“The chief said there is no need for you to bow down to me Nelly you are our saviour .”

“What do you mean?” questioned Nelly.

” Do you see all of the fur on this chair this is all the evil I have deafened but now they are sending all of them we need you to take them all down.”

“ No! I might get killed getting killed will be worse than being stuck here forever!” angrily, she stomped of. Sophia called after her but she did not listen.

Nelly, who was tired of running, realised she should have helped so she turned around and walked all the way back.one she reached the cave she found the chief on his chair.

“I am really sorry chief I just really wanted to go home.” Nelly said, full of fear.

“It is ok but now will you help solve our problem?”

” Yes I will.”

So Nelly took the sword chief had given her and started fighting and fighting. Two weeks later, all of the evil was gone. Nelly told Sophia and she almost cried. Chief heard as well and said she could go home. That is what she did. She kept visiting but never told anyone, ever again.

Well done, you have followed the story structure and included some different sentence types to engage the reader. Some more developed description might have helped your reader imagine what was happening in the story better. 

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